How To Love God

‘…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.’    Luke 10:27

For years I had tried to serve God the way He desired and for years I failed, easily slipping back to the world and all its empty promises.  I read the Bible and I knew what was right and wrong in His eyes but it was as though, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t do it.  I gave Him lip-service but not heart-service.  I remember getting frustrated and thinking that it was impossible, but that longing to serve Him wholeheartedly remained, so I forged on.  Then one day I prayed a bold prayer.  

Standing in my back yard, gazing up at the blue sky, I got real with Him.  My prayer went something like this, “God, Your word says that I need to love You and be willing to choose You first, but God, I don’t love you so please help me.”  I stood silent as that prayer wafted up to the heavens.  I’d like to tell you that I was different from that day on and I loved Him with my whole heart, but I wasn’t and I didn’t.

Not long after I sent my request Heavenward, my life took an unimaginable turn and I was alone in a self-made prison of despair.  I’d go to work then come home and sit in my back yard and drink, cry and curse, but I’d pray as well.  I begged God not to let me go because I knew that the road I found myself traveling down was one that would plunge me deeper into darkness.  Yet day after day I drank my sorrows and day after day I begged God not to let me go.  This went on for years.  God met me where I was day after day.  He was my constant and it was during that time I grew to love Him.  We spent every day together, me begging, He listening and loving.  He carried me through.  I learned much about Him.  Every promise in His word that says that He loves us unconditionally…true, that He will never leave us nor forsake us…true, that He sticks closer than a brother…true…every promise…true!  I am a living testament that ALL His promises are true. 

My walk with Him is not perfect, I am human and I do stupid things, but He loves me back to that right path, the one that He has laid out before me and I willingly choose Him.  I don’t want to hurt Him or disappoint Him.  My love for Him has changed me for the better—I can honestly say that I love myself and others, as well.  

I look back with gratitude on that dark road that I travelled.  It wasn’t easy, but I learned much and wouldn’t change a thing.  He desires for you to love Him with your whole heart, ask Him to help you.  Spend every single day drawing closer to Him, He is as close as the whisper of His name.  He will show Himself faithful, every single time.  Be blessed beautiful people!

A Lady in Waiting

Her cup runneth over and the joy of the Lord is her strength.  By the world’s standards, she is an independent woman.  She works hard, pays her bills and provides for herself, but she knows that it is the Lord Who truly provides, she just works.  She takes a humble pride in the fruits of her labor and is blessed beyond imagine.

Although her life is full, she is missing something.  She has no companion with which to share her life.  Her heart, though full and happy, aches at times.  She longs to share her life with the man of God’s choosing, in His timing and not her own.  If but for a moment, she allows her thoughts and her heart’s desire to come together as she envisions what it will be like:  Their life together isn’t perfect, but they choose to place Jesus in the center.  You see, a three-stranded cord is not easily broken.  She trusts him to lead her, purify and love her with every bit of himself.  On her behalf, he goes before the Lord and enquires of his Creator as to how to care for her.  She has handed her heart to him, and he is honored because he knows just how fragile it is.  It has been broken before, so he is ever careful with it.  He sees it as a gift and takes painstaking measures to protect it.

She is grateful and blooms in the light of his love.  He also trusts her with his heart, and she knows the precious gift that has been given her.  She honors him, prays for him and respects him.  She trusts his decisions because she knows he is led of the Lord.  Their love for one another is pure and holy and Christ-centered.  Their union...a shadow of the union of Christ and His Bride.  Just as Christ gave his life for the church, so he gives his life for her.  They walk together as one along the path that the Lord has placed before them…One day, it will become reality.  Until then, she will continue to pray and wait…and dream.

How Much Longer, Lord?

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.”  Isaiah 40:31

Waiting is hard.  Sometimes it’s downright painful.  That’s the place I am in right now.  God gave me a promise years ago and I am waiting for Him to fulfill it.  As I wait, I have two choices…trust Him and His timing or fret over what I don’t yet have.

I love being a wife but that isn’t how my life has played out so far.  I was a wife for 23 years until my ex-husband decided he wanted to be single.  Well, he’s never been single…I am the one who is single.  Where’s the fairness in that situation?  I long to be a wife, but the thing is—not any husband will do.  In the beginning of my singleness, I thought for sure finding a husband wouldn’t take too long, oh how wrong I was.  I have dated a few men and I’ve even had a couple of marriage proposals, but I can’t just hand over my heart to anyone.  That’s how I got in this situation in the first place.  I chose what I wanted over what God wanted for me.  Because of my bad decisions, I no longer date.  I watch and pray.

It was during a church service years back that I had a vision.  It was a snapshot of my wedding day.  I didn’t see who I was marrying, but the Lord allowed me to see it for a reason.  I know deep within my heart that He has ordained this.  I will one day marry again, this time to the man of God’s choosing.  Until the Lord leads that man to me, I must wait.  That’s the hard part.

Here lately the loneliness in my heart takes my breath away.  At times the ache consumes me.  I feel as though I am walking in the desert across a parched and dry land, not a soul in sight.  Why, if God has given me a promise, am I still alone?  Only God knows the answer to that question and who am I to expect one?  I have to put my faith in Him and trust Him.  I shall continue to wait upon the Lord and He will renew my strength.  One day, when I least expect it, my prince charming will walk into my life.  He will love the Lord more than me, Christ will be the center of our marriage, our home will be used for ministering, he will lead me in the ways of the Lord and I will trust him.  How can I be confident of these things?  Because they are the desires of my heart and each honors God.  Not just any man can fill those shoes.  Only a man called by God can do that.  Until then, when my heart is sorrowful and I grow weary of waiting, I will hand it all over to the Lord and He will sustain me.