“But
those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Waiting is hard.
Sometimes it’s downright painful.
That’s the place I am in right now.
God gave me a promise years ago and I am waiting for Him to fulfill
it. As I wait, I have two choices…trust
Him and His timing or fret over what I don’t yet have.
I love being a wife but that isn’t how my life has
played out so far. I was a wife for 23
years until my ex-husband decided he wanted to be single. Well, he’s never been single…I am the one who
is single. Where’s the fairness in that
situation? I long to be a wife, but the
thing is—not any husband will do. In the
beginning of my singleness, I thought for sure finding a husband wouldn’t take
too long, oh how wrong I was. I have
dated a few men and I’ve even had a couple of marriage proposals, but I can’t
just hand over my heart to anyone. That’s
how I got in this situation in the first place.
I chose what I wanted over what God wanted for me. Because of my bad decisions, I no longer
date. I watch and pray.
It was during a church service years back that I had a
vision. It was a snapshot of my wedding
day. I didn’t see who I was marrying,
but the Lord allowed me to see it for a reason.
I know deep within my heart that He has ordained this. I will one day marry again, this time to the
man of God’s choosing. Until the Lord
leads that man to me, I must wait. That’s
the hard part.
Here lately the loneliness in my heart takes my breath
away. At times the ache consumes
me. I feel as though I am walking in the
desert across a parched and dry land, not a soul in sight. Why, if God has given me a promise, am I
still alone? Only God knows the answer
to that question and who am I to expect one?
I have to put my faith in Him and trust Him. I shall continue to wait upon the Lord and He
will renew my strength. One day, when
I least expect it, my prince charming will walk into my life. He will love the Lord more than me, Christ
will be the center of our marriage, our home will be used for ministering, he
will lead me in the ways of the Lord and I will trust him.
How can I be confident of these things?
Because they are the desires of my heart and each honors God. Not just any man can fill those shoes. Only a man called by God can do that. Until then, when my heart is sorrowful and I
grow weary of waiting, I will hand it all over to the Lord and He will sustain
me.
