For we must all appear before the judgment seat of
Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to
that he hath done, whether it be good or bad 2 Corinthians 5:10
That scripture once scared the daylights out of me! I remember thinking, “What!? Stand before Jesus and all my dirty laundry with me and be judged according to it!! I’m toast!”
The list of my wrongdoings was quite extensive and I
was certain of the outcome of that judgement, yet, it was easier to sweep it
under the rug and forget about it and continue living the way I had been, but
boy oh boy, the mountain of bad behavior kept piling up and was spilling out
from under that rug. I’d tell myself
that it wasn’t real and I’d joke about going to hell even though that thought
terrified me, and I chugged along under the burden of my offenses.
There came a time that my heart was open to the
thought that maybe all this Jesus stuff was real, but my sins kept me from
moving forward because I didn’t want to face and admit all that I had done, so
I buried that mountain of trash in the deep recesses of my heart, slammed the
iron gate shut, locked it and threw away the key. There, out of sight, out of mind, but just as
a splinter buried within the skin soon festers, so my heart festered and just
as that splinter works its way to the surface, so did my junk. I decided to give this Jesus fella a try,
what did I have to lose? In the year
1999, I willingly handed that nasty, dirty, filth-stained heart over to
Jesus. I could lie and say it’s been
peaches and cream ever since, but I won’t.
I could lie and say that I walked the straight and narrow from then on,
but I didn’t. It’s been hard, worth it,
but hard! Oh, but glory to God, Jesus is
sooooo sweet! All those horrible things
that I had done were now covered in the blood of Jesus, forgiven AND forgotten by Him
simply because I asked for forgiveness and meant it. That was the easy part. The hard part was forgiving myself and
leaving it in the past.
He takes the junk that festers and heals us, and the
more we give to Him, the more HE changes us.
I am not the person I used to be and it’s not my doing at all. The only things that I did were to ask Him to
forgive me and change me and believe that He would do it….He did the rest. I’m not perfect and I still do stupid things
and He still, to this day continues to change me and will continue to the day
that I’m buried six-feet under. That’s
how I know He’s the real deal. I’m not
who I once was and that scripture no longer scares the daylights out of me, I
actually look forward to that day!!!
