Bring Him All Your Dirty Laundry

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad       2 Corinthians 5:10

That scripture once scared the daylights out of me!  I remember thinking, “What!?  Stand before Jesus and all my dirty laundry with me and be judged according to it!!  I’m toast!”

The list of my wrongdoings was quite extensive and I was certain of the outcome of that judgement, yet, it was easier to sweep it under the rug and forget about it and continue living the way I had been, but boy oh boy, the mountain of bad behavior kept piling up and was spilling out from under that rug.  I’d tell myself that it wasn’t real and I’d joke about going to hell even though that thought terrified me, and I chugged along under the burden of my offenses.

There came a time that my heart was open to the thought that maybe all this Jesus stuff was real, but my sins kept me from moving forward because I didn’t want to face and admit all that I had done, so I buried that mountain of trash in the deep recesses of my heart, slammed the iron gate shut, locked it and threw away the key.  There, out of sight, out of mind, but just as a splinter buried within the skin soon festers, so my heart festered and just as that splinter works its way to the surface, so did my junk.  I decided to give this Jesus fella a try, what did I have to lose?  In the year 1999, I willingly handed that nasty, dirty, filth-stained heart over to Jesus.  I could lie and say it’s been peaches and cream ever since, but I won’t.  I could lie and say that I walked the straight and narrow from then on, but I didn’t.  It’s been hard, worth it, but hard!  Oh, but glory to God, Jesus is sooooo sweet!  All those horrible things that I had done were now covered in the blood of Jesus, forgiven AND forgotten by Him simply because I asked for forgiveness and meant it.  That was the easy part.  The hard part was forgiving myself and leaving it in the past.

He takes the junk that festers and heals us, and the more we give to Him, the more HE changes us.  I am not the person I used to be and it’s not my doing at all.  The only things that I did were to ask Him to forgive me and change me and believe that He would do it….He did the rest.  I’m not perfect and I still do stupid things and He still, to this day continues to change me and will continue to the day that I’m buried six-feet under.  That’s how I know He’s the real deal.  I’m not who I once was and that scripture no longer scares the daylights out of me, I actually look forward to that day!!!