Reflections...

I wrote this in January, 2016...

I have willingly given my life over to the Lord; it is no longer mine, but His.  I walk each day in faith that His plan for my life is playing out the way He intended, despite my humanness, innumerable mistakes, countless detours, fits of rebelliousness…that list could go on.  It’s taken many years to get to this point and the process is not a finished one and won’t be until I draw my last breath here on earth and claim my eternal inheritance.

God is good.  He has the best intentions for each of us and waits patiently for us to decide to get on board with His plan.  He nudges us, stirs our hearts, and sends people across our path in an effort to get our attention and it is up to us to embrace salvation in Jesus and walk in His love and plan.  You see, He is a gentleman and will not force Himself on us or make us do something that we don’t want to do, but when one of His children accepts the invitation…life gets a little more adventurous….well truthfully, a lot more adventurous.

I’ve shared before and will share again that my life is nothing at all like I pictured it would be.  Since I’ve chosen to walk His path and not my own, He’s brought me to a much different place than I ever imagined.  On the brink of a new year, I reflect on times past.  So much has changed in a short amount of time…some changes are good and some are heartbreaking.  Right now, in my walk with Him, it’s heartbreaking.  He’s brought me to a place of isolation and aloneness.  I’ve had to leave everyone and everything behind.  The Word tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts that your thoughts.”  I am not understanding His plan, but that is the essence of faith…I must trust in Him.

Since I’ve followed His leading and walked through the door that He’s opened for me, I ramble around this beautiful apartment that He has provided.  I have unpacked and settled in with the little I brought with me.  The dining and living areas sit empty and echo with every small sound…I trust Him to fill them in His time.  In the week that I’ve lived here, I have spent countless hours lying in bed crying, mindlessly watching TV and sleeping in an effort to fill the void that has become my life.  There is a purpose for it, He will take me to places I’ve never been and good will come from it, but it is time for me to stop wallowing in my self-pity and get on with life in spite of the constant ache in my heart and the sadness that threatens to consume me.

I must move forward in His plan.  He stirs within me the desire to finish writing a story that I’ve started and He provides ideas for new ones that are patiently waiting to be written, that blank page that desires to be transformed into a work of art guided by the Hand of God.  I’ve not been able to look past my pain to see the wonderful newness that beckons me, but it is time.  Follow in His leading good people.  Trust in Him.  It is time…